Charming Hamina

Time to look back at some of the things we did in Finland these summer.
There are many nice towns in Finland that live up especially during summer time. One of these is Hamina quite near my father's place. We go there once in a while to have a coffee in one of the nice cafeterias. It's one of the few cities with a circular town plan.
Every second year in the beginning of August the Hamina Tattoo military music festival is held there. It's a very nice event. This year we went there to see the historical gardens in the centre that opened up to the public during the festival. There were concerts, pop up cafés and art exhibitions in the charming gardens.

What we have been up to here in Finland

Now I have been here in Finland over a month and a half and soon it's time to go back to Italy. I'm so glad I have been able to spend this long a time here to help my father and keep a bit of company to him. It has also been good for me to see that life continues also without my mother, although I miss her every day and all the places here bring back memories. Often I find myself wanting to tell her something or ask her something.
One positive thing with all this is that I have seen and talked to my brother and my sister more often than I usually do when I'm here in Finland. I have also seen some relatives I hadn't seen for many years.
I have done lots of things with the girls and my father has done some of the things with us. Of course his daily rhythms are getting a bit slower than ours at the age of almost 91, but he has come with us for example to the swimming pool, to the summer theater and out for lunches.
We have seen many sunsets, been to our friends' summer cottage, to summer theaters and other summer happenings, celebrated Carlotta's birthday, done bicycle tours, gone horse riding, met friends, picked blueberries and baked blue berry pies, just to mention a few things. It hasn't been a warm summer here in Finland, but nice anyway. The Finnish nature is just so beautiful!

Finland and a sad post

Finland here we are again, but this time in not so happy feelings. My mother had had some health problems during spring and had been at the hospital in April. She recovered and got home and we waited eagerly to get there in summer. She was at home and was feeling quite ok, but said she had never been in that bad shape, she got tired very easily and couldn't walk at all without getting exhausted. Then on Mid summer she called me while we were on our mountain holiday in the Alps and said that she wasn't feeling well and was going to the hospital hoping to get some help, although it was Mid Summer Eve when everything is closed in Finland and lots of people are on holiday. I understood the situation wasn't good at all. She was tired and had breathing difficulties. The first diagnosis she got this time was heart failure, which would explain the difficult breathing problems and also the shortness of breath and the tireness as soon as she tried to do something. And then after another couple of days the second diagnosis came, she also had a lymphoma.
I had booked my plane to Finland for the 20th of July, but now I changed my flight day to the first available one which was the 7th of July.
Daniele went to Finland on the 1st of July and my mother was able to come home during the day that weekend. Daniele said he didn't notice any change in her, just that she was a bit tired. He then went to his summer work to Lovisa and didn't see my mother anymore.

 Me and Carlotta got to Finland on the 7th with the late night plane and stayed over night at my brother's place. Sofia's flight was later in July, because she has her horse to take care of and I thought it would be too long for her to stay in Finland almost two months. The next day we took the bus to my parents' house and in the afternoon we finally went to see my mother at the hospital. She was weak and had had a bad night, but we sat with her a long while chatting and laughing. Her sense of humor hadn't disappeared and it was good to see that our visit really made her happy. She also video chatted with Sofia who was still in Italy. We could see that she wasn't in the condition to come home, but really hoped that she would get better and we could see her at home. The next day we went there with my father and she seemed more tired and didn't have any appetite, but she was happy that she had got her hair washed. Well, that was the last time we saw her. The next day my brother had planned to come and visit her and he had talked to her on the phone and she said see you tomorrow.
But then in the morning we had a phone call from the hospital saying that she wasn't awake and that they had resuscitated her twice. I got ready to take my father to the hospital when they called again with the sad notice that my mother hadn't made it, that she had passed away.

It was a cloudy day in July. I think my mother was such a loved person that also the sky showed its dark side that day.

I actually still can't realize it, although I know that she wasn't young anymore and although we have already had the funerals and everything, but it's really hard to realize that we won't see her anymore and can't talk with her and tell her anything or ask her anything. I also feel so endlessly sorry for my dad who is 90 already and now is really alone. I'm happy that we can stay here so long this summer and hopefully can bring him some joy and help during this time and I don't want to think of the end of August when we will have to leave.